Ceremony

The Dress Code

For Catholics, weddings are celebrated within the context of the Mass. The Mass is seen as the highest form of worship of God. We therefore asks that you dress respectfully.

For men, this means a dress shirt, a necktie or bow tie, and slacks. Suits (or culturally appropriate equivalents) are encouraged. Specifically no shorts, t-shirts, or denim.

For most women, skirts or dresses (or culturally appropriate equivalents) are encouraged. Slacks and a blouse are also welcomed. Out of respect for the sacredness of the ceremony we ask that if you are wearing a skirt or dress, that it: 1) not be tight fitting, 2) not low cut, and 3) be be knee-length or longer.

The Catholic Mass

For those unfamiliar with the Catholic faith, we have provided a list of questions you may have about the ceremony below.

What is a Mass? And what does it have to do with a wedding ceremony?

The Mass is the central liturgical service of the Catholic faith. It's the primary way that Catholics worship God, and it's why they go to church on Sundays. Most sacraments of the Catholic church (such as baptism, confirmation, and in this case, marriage) are administered within a Mass. The Mass typically lasts about an hour and a half, of which, the wedding itself will be just a part.

I'm not Catholic. Can I still attend the wedding ceremony?

Absolutely! We hope to see as many of our friends and family there as possible! All are welcome to attend Catholic services, regardless of their specific religious background. That said, if you're unfamiliar with the Catholic faith, we encourage you to read further and refer to the questions below so that you're prepared to join us for this celebration.

For theological reasons, non-Catholics cannot participate in Catholic Communion. (If you're curious as to what those theological reasons are, this write-up addresses the topic further.) In brief, during the reception of Holy Communion, Catholics believe that Christ is truly present in the bread and wine. This is the most sacred part of the whole ceremony for Catholics. When receiving Communion, you are affirming your intention to be in unity with the Catholic Church and all of her teachings. Because the Catholic Church respects the beliefs of those not practicing Catholicism, we do not share Communion with non-Catholics. For more information about the mass, see below.

What happens during a Catholic Mass? And what is my role while attending?

The Mass itself follows a liturgical structure. You can think of this like a sequence of steps that comprise the overall ritual. As a non-Catholic, you are not expected to memorize the full structure of the Mass before attending.

During the Mass, there are a number of prayers and responses, most of which will be outlined in the program provided to each guest before the ceremony begins. You are welcome to follow along and participate, if you are not comfortable participating in the prayers, or making the same affirmations of faith, you are welcome to simply remain silent and listen, whatever feels most comfortable for you.

Otherwise, you are allowed to participate, with the only exception being that non-Catholics cannot partake in Catholic Communion. During the reception of Holy Communion, Catholics believe that Christ is truly present in the bread and wine. This is the most sacred part of the whole ceremony for Catholics. When receiving Communion, you are affirming your intention to be in unity with the Catholic Church and all of her teachings. Because the Catholic Church respects the beliefs of those not practicing Catholicism, we do not share Communion with non-Catholics. Basically, during Communion, practicing Catholics will leave their pews to go towards the altar to receive Communion. During this part of the Mass, you may simply remain kneeling at your pew until communion concludes.

If you'd like to learn more about the Catholic Mass, the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops has more information about it on their website, but again, this is not required to attend.

Am I allowed to use my phone during the Mass? Am I allowed to take pictures?

The church does not allow photography during the Mass, with the only exception being the official wedding photographer. That said, this rule only applies inside the church itself. Feel free to take as many pictures as you'd like before the ceremony or during the reception!

We will also be sharing all the photos from the photographer once we receive them. As always, feel free to reach out to the couple for more information!

In the meantime, we ask that you please silence your phones during the ceremony.

Are young children allowed to attend the ceremony?

While children are welcomed to attend, we understand that for younger children, it may be a lot to ask of them to sit through the whole ceremony. If you find that they are becoming restless, we respectfully ask you to bring them outside the church to give them space to be themselves without distracting other guests during the ceremony.